THIRD TIME LUCKY: NAVO KAIKAI’S LONG ROAD TO PARLIAMENT
OK Madam Navo Kaikai you can now go back quickly to your base in London to wrap up things and return to Freetown for your swearing-in as Member of Parliament for Constituency 001. Congrats. By all indications this was a real and tough struggle.
Constituency 001 is unique in many ways: It is well known for bloody rivalries for political power between two well-established families since the days of Siaka Stevens. In fact this time, the rivalry came under the same roof.
Navo Kaikai has been in the queue for some time. In the period Navo has been waiting, the Lady MP Alice Foyah died, her husband who took over also died recently. So now it’s the turn of Navo Kaikai. Do we really believe in the saying that good things come to those who wait?
Madam Navo Kaikai, consider the following issues on your flight back to the UK:
1. You have no choice but to be a good MP. Those who fought so hard to deny you a place in the HOUSE will fight another day. In fact they will continue fighting. Make no mistake about that.
2. If you put yourself in the middle of the leadership struggle in your party, you will soil your good name. Already, all kinds of comments are flying all over social media about who did this or that for you. Your party is in a deep mess of its own making much to the disservice of the motherland.
3. There’s a lot of work to do in your constituency and you don’t have time. And operating from the opposition benches is a difficult thing in Sierra Leone. If you’ve been watching the British parliament in session on TV in the UK, please note that we are almost SEVEN HOURS away from them, and at least SEVEN DECADES behind them.
4. Take along a copy of the Standing Orders of the Sierra Leone Parliament and try to hit the ground running.
5. Please, no triumphalism by means of a big party in London. Yes, you can call some friends around but be careful not to invite those two warring Green Movement factions into your home. Or are you part of one of them already? Anyway, we will be sending you our invoice for the comments you’ve just read. Thanks.
MAYA KAIKAI’S MIRE DEEPENDS
Maya Kaikai must be very disappointed with himself that he failed to bring Constituency 001 home to the RED camp. He probably assured his people he would. Maya was on radio doing running commentary about the situation in his home constituency. We even asked him once to return to work in Freetown. Is he back now? Can the minister please give us a call? Maybe he is paid by the RED MOVEMENT and not the MAMA SALONE.
Maya and his group of very powerful men were left in deep mire after the results were declared. The big question among the Red Movement is: “How could this have happened after all we’ve done here?” That’s a very good question to ask. Maya and many of those with him knew the task was impossible as it was for the Green Movement in Constituency 050, but they plodded on regardless.
Now, getting out of the mire in Kailahun will take a long time for Maya - certainly longer than his time in government. If De Pa decides to shake things up before the next election in 2018, Maya and a few others in this debacle may be in front of the queue. A soldier who cannot win and hold ground should resign.
Here are some of the things we think the sporadic violence leading to a MAC-P deployment was all about:
1. The loss of 001 would have caused the collapse of Green Movement morale and engineered mass defections to the other side.
2. The Green Movement would have been bloodied in their living room. The famous Kailahun Court Barray myth would be buried forever.
3. Maya would have returned to Freetown saying “I told you so - Is there anything else I can do?” Robin the son of Fallay would be guest on many radio programmes. He might as well do that now. His promised revolution is not happening – after all he had promised the same when he was in the Green Movement. Is there something he wants us to know?
4. Even in defeat the Red Movement is celebrating their capture of FOUR THOUSAND votes. Well that’s not bad at first sight. But considered against all the investment to clinch that seat and the poverty and bickering in the GREEN, surely people have to be disappointed. Can we see Maya’s report please?
5. Even as they celebrated the latest Court Barray victory the Green Movement people were busy shedding blood next door. This is absolutely disgusting. A defeat in 001 would have caused even more bloodshed.
KAMARAINBA DIGGING DEEP IN NORTHERN FLANK
We want to announce here that we are working with some groups that are planning to commission a study on how the Kamarainba Train would help bring down the Red Movement in another year and a half.
We agreed with our partners that only a proper scientific study done by a credible institution would bring out the fact about how a small party with very little cash to throw around and an insignificant leader could cause so many earthquakes in the home of the Red Movement in particular. Watch out as we call for proposals for this study.
In the meantime, permit us to throw in a few words on what we think is happening. We call on the group that will end up doing the study to discard the next few lines or take them as just a mad view from a group of journalists.
1. Kamarainba’s Umbrella party is ABSOLUTELY BAD NEWS for the Red Movement. We will refuse to understand any talk about symbols looking alike, as a Red Movement official opined the other day. Kamarainba is establishing a pattern across the northern flank. Those who are refusing to see that can go ahead and make excuses.
2. We know Kamarainba works very hard but people should simply look below the surface and notice that there is a growing body of people ready to vote against the Red Movement in their heartland and that this veneer of invincibility in the north is what it is – a veneer.
3. It is also a fact that those same radical northern voters, who also backed Kamarainba against the MIGHTY IB KARGBO (Hon) in Bombali, would not vote for the Green Movement come what may. Without a Kamarainba, they will find another insurgent leader.
4. Suddenly Kamarainba is looking like the PMDC of the north. People are beginning to talk to the young man. Just yesterday, he was supposed to be the jester thrown into the rough seas of Sierra Leone politics by Red Movement headquarters. Could this guy decide who governs this country in 2018?
5. Maybe we are running ahead of ourselves with this calculation. However, if he repeats this in any other bye-election in the north, the people doing the study will find their work very easy. By the way, why was there no Kamarainba candidate in Kailahun? Should we read something into that? We are building up to interesting times in 2018.
ENGLAND LOOKING FOR A NEW MANAGER: CAN SALONE HELP?
The England national football team are desperately looking for a MANAGER. They really do. After that incredibly mediocre performance in the just concluded Euro 2016, the THREE LIONS have a lot of work to do to first give themselves a face, and then WIN something in the next two years. Otherwise, we can write them off as a power house of world football.
The point is many Sierra Leoneans support England. We are very close to the Colonial Master. Thousands of our people live there and they send remittances back home regularly and the English Premier League is very popular in this country. It dominates all the conversations among young people, even more than the politics of this country.
We have heard a few names being mentioned for the England top job. We believe this country can at last offer England some technical help by making the services of one of our coaches available to them. We will return to that soon, but for now let’s say a few things about the names being mentioned in social media.
ARSENE WENGER: Are you guys kidding us? How can anybody mention this guy’s name when we are talking about winning trophies? Wenger’s idea of being a manager stops at participating in competitions and giving media interviews explaining the reasons for failing to win anything.
The Happy One calls Wenger AN EXPERT IN FAILURE. Rule Wenger out. England doesn’t need the advanced form of TIKI TAKA football with elaborate passing and dribbling even on the goal line.
SAM ALLADYCE: Now, hiring this guy will be the highest point of desperation. His football is unimaginative and unnecessarily too rough. And he has this FIGHTING RELEGATION Mentality year after year. With that, England will be out of the World Cup at the first round. The 1966 World Cup win will continue to be the only one in the cupboard.
With those two out of the way, HUMBLE Sierra Leone hereby offers OFFIEJEBBOR. He is the best we have. In six months he will turn England’s fortunes around and the long suffering fans of the THREE LIONS will smile again.
On our honour, we pledge that our High Commission in London will cover all expenses connected to his stay in England. We warn however that when he is angry, he can emit absolutely salty language. Surely, you guys can manage that.
© Politico 12/07/16